A Definition of Lust

In order to have a common vocabulary, so that we can understand each other, I am going to offer up a definition of lust:

Lust: an imagined or real sexual connection with another person, object, or idea that causes emotional and relational detachment from others, from God, and/or from one’s self.

This definition should be freeing if you have lived under the oppression of a legalistic view of lust. Once you understand this principle, life becomes focused less on avoiding sexual desire and more on developing strong relationships. This definition highlights the opportunity that faces us all the time, regardless of whether we are sexually aroused or not. We always have the option to connect into a community rather than disconnect into lust.

Attraction to beautiful people can and will occur. We should not be afraid or ashamed of this attraction; it is part of our biology, how God made us. Lust is more than just this sexual attraction and is instead truly defined by the effect it has around us. Lust is about taking that attraction and making ourselves enslaved to the attraction, rather than using that attraction to open up our eyes to our emotional need for connection. 

The challenge that we are faced with is to learn how to see the world through God’s eyes: to see other people as persons to love rather than objects to be exploited; to see ourselves as spiritual beings rather than sexual beings. The goal is to be people who can depend upon healthy connections with God and other people in our lives, rather than receiving temporary comfort from disposable fantasies of and interactions with others.